I dropped a friend off at the airport Tuesday morning (sorry a few Tuesdays ago... I just could never get my words on here right). I was up by 2:45, we left at 3:30 AM. I brought along Victoria, so just the two of us were driving home together. My first thought was
"Oh no! I forgot my itouch, I wont be able to listen to anything wonderful and inspiring about God on the drive home..." to which I immediately thought, "Great, my better idea is spending this time fellow shipping with you God" And so began the BEST hour of my life...
I began by talking and singing and praising my Lord. I told him about everything my mind was pondering lately. I cried. I was having a really deep heart to heart with him. I told him, "Lord I can hardly see the road right now, I need you to take the wheel, otherwise Id better just pull over." And I'd have one message from Him after another. "Yes, I need him to take the wheel. In every aspect of life." Only He can drive perfectly, only He knows what we need.
Another thing He told me was, "That just like a farmer plants a cover crop for the winter, to protect the soil from the weather, but every spring he plows under that crop. He doesn't do it to waste the good grass, the grass had its purpose but now it is not needed for anything except adding nutrients to the soil for the REAL crop the farmer has planned" SO IS YOUR LIFE AMANDA. All my efforts and good works are just like the cover crop, going to get "plowed under" by God. At first it might seem like they are going to waste, but really its just that I need to see that God has something else intended for my life, he wants me to be fruitful and produce a crop for him to harvest one day. So I must not sorrow right now at this time in my life where it feels like God is plowing under my ENTIRE LIFE. All my child hood, youth, all these years as a wife and mother, and it feels like God is just now got me in the right season to start PLANTING, so he needs to plow my thoughts, heart and soul , EVERYTHING, in preparation for planting season.
I told him, I understand, I see the whole picture... I'm willing Lord to do whatever it takes, follow wherever you lead. Planting time is here,... so plow under everything, both good and bad. Thus turning EVERYTHING I have ever done and thought into the ENERGY/ food to actually live the life he calls me to do, what he wants me to be. Plow it under LORD:
the wasted time, the fears and anxiety, the slothfulness, the bitterness, the jealousy, the selfishness, unkind unloving heart of mine, the stress, the neglected relationships...
Create in me a new heart... help me to love unconditionally, help me to be a wonderful time manager and always be on time and make the most of all my time, help me to not be afraid or anxious or stressed, give me peace, please, help me to be thankful and joyful in every precious thing you have given me. Help me to focus on what is important in this life: the relationships around me. The example that I set for every watching eye. What do I reflect of you Lord? Is it what you want? I want to be a light that is pleasing to you! That you want me to be.
I saw the sun starting to peak over the mountains to my left and I prayed, "Lord please keep the sun from rising, just a little longer... I don't want this moment to end." I eventually made it home just fine, I still feel like that was the best hour of my entire life... and I told God, "If every morning was going to be this amazing I would have no problem getting up early to spend with him..." so here I begin to truly try putting him first: physically, really truly, getting up and spending my first hour with him each morning: I hope to keep you slightly update...
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